My thoughts on WrestleMania 32

About as worth the time as you'd expect a U.S. Title match to be. Kalisto retains. Two Stars.

Total Divas vs B.A.D and Blonde.

Fucking filler for the sake of filler, only noteworthy thing was Lana's in ring debut, she did fuck all. Brie Bella got the win for Total Divas. One Star.

Usos vs Dudleys.

Would've been better if it was a tables match, thankfully it was over quick. Usos won, but there was an insulting aftermath where they reversed the Dudleys attempt to put them through tables. One Star.

Ladder match for Intercontinental Title.

Was nice to see Stardust pay tribute to Dusty with yellow polka dots on his attire, and even had a polka dot ladder hidden under the ring. Nice back and forths between Owens and Zyan, Zack Ryder won the Title, I have to admit I Marked out. Three Stars.

Chris Jericho vs AJ Styles.

Very well performed match, I wouldn't expect anything less from such high caliber veterans. AJ got to use the Styles Clash, but in the end Jericho won by catching AJ with a mid-air Codebreaker. Four Stars.

New Day vs League of Nations.

The New Day's entrance was FUCKING STUPID! they came out of a giant box of their fictional "Booty Os" cereal, dressed up as FUCKING Saiyans! Xavier Woods even had his hair spiked up. Thankfully the League destroyed them. Three Stars.

Aftermath: Wade Barrett cut a promo saying how no combination of three men could beat "The Lads" but to the surprise of everyone Shawn Michaels came out, dressed in his ring gear, soon followed by Mick Foley dressed in his Cactus Jack gear, followed by Stone Cold Steve Austin. All three came to the ring, with a Mandible Claw for Sheamus, Sweet Chin Music for Del Rio, the Stunner for Rusev, and all three for Barrett. Plus an extra stunner for Xavier for trying to get Stone Cold involved with their stupid dance. Truly a special moment.

Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar.

I was rather disappointed with the pitiful display that was put on, the month long build up hadn't been worth it. We beardy got to see the gifts that Ambrose was given by Mick Foley and Terry Funk. In the end Lesnar won with an F5 to Ambrose on a pile of chairs that Ambrose had put there. Suplex Count: 13. Two Stars.

Charlotte vs Sasha Banks vs Becky Lynch for the Women's Title.

And I do mean "Women's" title. That horrid Silver Butterfly has been retired as has the term "Diva" not that the new belt is much better of course, it looks like a fucking jam tart!

Unfortunately, during the match I fell asleep, so I missed this match and shall not be ranking it, but Charlotte won/retained.

But I will comment on how awesome Sasha's entrance was, Snoop Dogg who was present at the event due to his Hall of Fame induction, came out and rapped a special version of her theme for the occasion. (Sasha and Snoop are cousins in case you weren't aware)

Undertaker vs Shane McMahon Hell in a Cell.

While for the most part the match was your basic Undertaker cell match, the big shock part happened when Taker slammed Shane through the Cell; the two men continued to brutalise each other outside the confines of the cell, it got to point where Taker was laid flat on the announcers table, and an exhausted Shane climbed to the top of the cell, and jumped TWENTY FUCKING FEET off the cell onto the announcers table, but Taker rolled out the way. Mercifully it ended with a Tombstone Piledriver victory for Undertaker. 23:1. Four Stars.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

WWE took everyone by surprise and really stepped up their game for this match, taking a leaf from the Royal Rumble playbook there were three surprise entrants that nobody even knew about. Tatanka, Diamond Dallas Page, and Shaquelle O'Neil, yes, that Shaq. He returned to rekindle his rivalry with Big Show, it was rather fun to watch Shaq and Show try and choke slam each other, but they were eliminated by the combined power of the other participants before it got too silly, standard Battle Royal faire followed, DDP had a moment, then was thrown out, Tatanka had a moment, then was thrown out, the Social Outcasts were kicking all kinds of ass, then they got thrown out. In the end, Baron Corbin ended up winning, which I think was a good decision. Three Stars.

The Rock's guest appearance.

After Rock came out and did his thing, which I won't spoil, he was interrupted by The Wyatt Family. Basically after a promo and a couple if Rock anecdotes. He challenged any Wyatt to a match right there. Wyatt sent in Rowan, Rock Bottom, pin for the three count, over in six seconds.

After this, the Wyatts surrounded Rock, but then somebody who we weren't expecting came back to help the Rock... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! Cena makes an example of Rowan, Rock makes an example of Bray, Cena and Rock manhug.

Triple H vs Roman Reigns

One thing I will say is that I fucking loved Triple H's entrance, it is his best one yet. The amazing Orwellian feel given as Stephanie bellowed the laws of her evil dictatorship.

But I'm not ranking entrances, I'm ranking matches. And the match was so fucking boring I watched a YouTube video on Tara Strong's top ten voice roles during it. Roman became the new champion. Zero Stars.

Overall rank: Three Stars. This was a hell of a lot better than we were all expecting it to be. That I can say for certain.